Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
