Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
