theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
When did angry sex become our thing?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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