the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
