I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Can I color on your dick again?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
