I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
