I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I need to sanitize my soul.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
