they need to just BURY HIM!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
