Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
