That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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