The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
