is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
