I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Green mimosas i think yes
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
