turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
