I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
