My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
