im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
