I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
