i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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