Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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