yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
