honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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