No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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