I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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