I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
