after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
