Tell her she can't have a vagina
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
