In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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