he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
