I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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