i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
