shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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