We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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