apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
