you guys were way drunker than both of me
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
