I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This baby is an asshole
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
