Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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