So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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