It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
