Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
