Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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