I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
