I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
