i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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