Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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