yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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