it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Can I color on your dick again?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
