hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
