a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
