Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
