You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
