I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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