There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
