dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
